• Adam Murray

Why You Should Let The Little Things Go

One of my favorite pieces of advice was given to me by my dad. He said, “Focus on the 99% that you love about someone rather than the 1% that irritates you. But, Always love that person 100% for being themselves and having that 1%.”


Stop and think about that for a second. It makes so much sense. We can all get caught up in little things that irritate us, but at the end of the day, those little things just don’t matter.


Do you really need to get upset when your parents ask you what day you’re coming over, again?


Do you really need to get upset when your boyfriend “gets up too early” on the weekends?


Do you really need to get upset when your daughter forgot to close the cereal box?


It’s kind of silly that we let those things bother us, right? Especially when life is so short.


I think I was about 20 years old when he told me this advice. I don’t even remember what we were talking about, but this advice will stay with me forever. It’s made me a better person, too.


My parents have been together for over 35 years and they’re still madly in love with each other. This advice is part of their successful recipe. They never focus on the little things, it’s always about the bigger picture.


Back in September 2016, I lost my uncle (my dad’s twin brother) in a car crash. I considered him a second father to me. I always think back to the last time I talked to him. The last time we were together, we were having a great time at a family gathering and talking about how amazing Muhammad Ali was in his prime. My uncle loved boxing and thought Muhammad was the greatest boxer of all time (I have to agree). That was the last conversation I had with my uncle, and I’ll cherish it forever.


Now, imagine how I would feel if him and I had a fight over something as our last memory. That would sit with me forever, wishing that I could change it. But instead, I get to look back at a perfect memory with him. This is exactly what I’m talking about.


Each moment that you have with your loved ones’, cherish them. It’s always okay to disagree or find certain things irritating, but make sure to focus on the bigger picture. Fighting with the people you love is never worth it. You have no idea when your last moment with them will be.


This quote has helped me in pretty much every aspect of my life. I think about it when I’m with my partner, my family, my friends, co-workers, and even random people I meet on any given day. Things are always better when you focus on the good in someone. And, it even requires more energy to be mad than happy. So, don’t let the little things bother you.


When we let little things bother us about someone else, we tend to bring up insignificant details. If we don’t agree with something that someone is saying, we take offense to it. When we get like this, it’s often because we’re trying to justify our own insecurities. Why would it bother us if someone didn’t agree with something? When we focus on the “bad”, it’s often followed up by more “bad”. When we become irritated, we then begin to look for more things, irrelevant things, to pick out in someone. When this happens, we start to build up resentment. This is when relationships begin to fail.


Think of this: Let’s say you get up in the morning and your alarm goes off. Maybe for some reason it didn’t stop beeping the first time you hit it, so it frustrates you because you have to do it again. Then, you get out of bed and stub your toe. So now your anger’s increased. Next, you go out to pour yourself a cup of coffee and you spill a little bit on the floor. Then you’re really mad. Notice the trend? When you’re mad or focusing on the negative, more negative things will happen and become more obvious. If you weren’t bothered by your alarm not shutting off the first time, the other two things (stubbing your toe and spilling your coffee) probably wouldn’t have happened.


So, if we go back to thinking about the 99% of someone that we love, the 1% that irritates you really shouldn’t matter. And as my dad said, “always love that person for being themselves and having that 1%.” Everyone is perfectly imperfect. We all have our little flaws. But, if we learn to accept those and love people for who they are, wouldn’t our relationships be that much better?


At the end of the day, the only thing that truly matters is the love you get to share with others. Our lives would all be that much better if we were able to let go of the little things. And remember, when a loved one is gone, it’s usually that 1%, the irritations about them, that you miss the most.


Love you all!


What's the best advice you've ever received? Let me know in the comments.


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