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  • Writer's pictureAdam Murray

You’re The Most Beautiful Thing Out There

Body image. This is a topic I think about a lot. It breaks my heart when I hear someone say that they’re “ugly” in any way. This goes for anyone. For the most part, we all struggle with body and confidence issues. And, it’s strongly influenced by pop culture. We’re taught that everyone needs to be a certain way or have a certain shape to be “attractive”. There’s no need for it and it’s really silly. It’s crazy to think that we’re being told what to look like, especially when everyone is attracted to different things.

One of the biggest issues I see with this is that it’s completely unrealistic. I love this quote from Tina Fey - “Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits.”

That pretty much sums it up. What we’re portraying out there is unrealistic for anyone. Not only that but we’re all attracted to different things about people, so why do we do this?

No matter what you’re shaped like right now, I can almost guarantee that it was at one point considered the “sexiest shape”. If you go back in each decade for just the last 100 years, it’s been different every single time. What is considered the “sexiest shape” is completely different from decade to decade. We’ve gone from curvy, to broad shoulders, to thin, to tiny framed, to long necks, to flat chested, to big butts, to large chested, to small waists, to doll faced, to athletic, to lean, to legs for days, to thick, and it just keeps changing. All of this is influenced by pop culture.

When I see people struggling with body image issues, it really hurts to hear because they’re already beautiful. They don’t need to change or adjust anything to try and look like someone else or follow what society wants them to look like. To me, the most attractive thing about anyone is their ability to be their true selves and own it with a lot of confidence. As long as you’re good to yourself, that’s beautiful. And when I say “good to yourself”, I mean you’re authentic, always try to be healthy, you treat yourself with respect, you practice self care, and do things that you love.

I used to struggle with body image issues when I was younger. And yes, a lot of guys struggle with it, too. We just don’t seem to talk about it as much. It’s a shame, really. I look back at it now and think that I was crazy for thinking the way I did about myself. I was always in good physical shape but was scared to take my shirt off in front of people. At the time, I thought I was too skinny and I had a scar on my belly button from surgery that I was embarrassed about. Not until I was probably 25 that I started to love my body and the scars that came with it. At that age was when I finally stopped worrying about what other people were thinking and stopped trying to change for others. Not only that, but my partner loves my body and all of the scars that come with it.

Once you get to a point where you realize that you’re awesome the way you are, that’s when you realize how many people are actually attracted to you. It’s not only because you’re good looking, have a nice smile, or have nice hair, it’s because you’re now confident in yourself and love who you are. You being authentic is the most attractive thing about you.

If you have any “flaws” that you’re embarrassed about, try owning it with confidence. You’ll be amazed by the positive response of people, but most importantly, the people who matter. Focus on the people who make you feel good about yourself. The trolls on social media who write “you’re ugly” on a post is the last person you should ever focus on. Those people are struggling with something and taking their anger out on you. They look to belittle someone else to make themselves feel bigger. There’s no room for bullies in our world.

If you’re out there and struggling with body image issues, just know that there’s so many people feeling the same way. Whatever shape you are or however you look, just know that there’s TONS of people out there who are attracted to exactly what you look like. There’s no perfect body because we’re all different, and everyone likes different things. If you think you’re “too tall” or “too skinny” or “too heavy” or think you have “bad hair”, I promise there’s plenty of people who love that about you and find it very attractive.

If there’s anything I wish you to take away from this post, it’s that I think and many people alike think, you’re amazing the way you are. You’re gorgeous because you’re you.

Do you struggle or have you struggled with any body image issues?

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